This is the next step in my journey which started a few years ago while celebrating a family
holiday in the UK Lake District.

I was in the depths of depression and really struggling to understand why. I hated the constant and stomach-churning feeling of being miserable, and one of the hardest things was not being able to explain it. My brother was in training for a triathlon and was about to go for a swim when he asked if I wanted to join. I really wasn’t sure but when my other brother offered me his wetsuit, I figured why not!? We swam to the other side of the lake and back, and to this day I still don’t understand exactly what happened, but my mood was transformed, and it lasted the rest of the day and night. When I was diagnosed, lots of people talked about finding strategies to cope, and all of a sudden it seemed I had found one.

The next thing I realised, I had signed up for a 10km swim in Loch Lomond with only 3 weeks warning and without fully appreciating quite how long it would take! I bought myself a wetsuit, managed a couple of training swims, and before I knew it the day had arrived………………….I loved it! It helped that it was a lovely day and flat water but with the combination of beautiful surroundings, cold water, exercise-endorphins and family-support, it was amazing!

I needed a new and bigger challenge and I signed up the following year to swim the length of the largest lake in England, Windermere at around 18.5km. It was a bigger challenge not just in terms of distance but logistically too. However with family-support (particularly my brother in the canoe alongside me) the same thing happened. It was obviously much harder that the 10km swim with more expectation, more time to ponder and think about it, more nerves, more doubts, but overall, it was incredible.

And so next up, one that I have had in my mind for a long time, is the length of the largest loch in Scotland, around 36km in length. The nerves kicked in long before I signed up, it’s going to be one hell of a challenge, but I’m just looking to enjoy it as much as possible, calm the mind, and take it all in.

Looking back and knowing what I know now, it seems that for me the benefit of exercise and cold-water exposure/shock/stress seems to be a very good combination and added to that it takes me back to my childhood, spending so much time in the water.

This is more about the swimming side of my journey, but the lifestyle changes I have made as a result of depression and continue to make are far wider. Overall, depression has taken me on a path to just simply try and live more healthily (whatever that actually means as it’s complicated, the research is constantly evolving, and everyone is different). For me, so far, that has involved an overhaul of my diet, prioritising sleep as well as a number of other changes I have made and continue to make.

Fasting is one of the more recent things I have started experimenting with, and after having completed my first five day water-only fast earlier this year (and was very surprised at just how amazing I felt during and after it) I’m also going to attempt the Loch Lomond swim taking on zero calories to try and understand the impact of and the potential benefits of training the body to burn fat rather than carbs.

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When I was diagnosed, I was determined to understand this all-consuming feeling and to never let myself feel like that again which I was told would involve requiring a whole toolbox of coping strategies that will always need rejuvenated/refreshed and worked on, and while at the moment I feel I have that, I think I’ll always be looking for new ones.

Depression was starting to become a more normalised subject to talk about as I was diagnosed and that definitely helped me seek help sooner than I otherwise would have. As a result, I always said I wanted to be open about my experiences, however difficult that might be, to try and continue to raise awareness in case it helps other people who are struggling or have struggled. It’s taken me longer than I wanted (mainly due to Covid and then kids coming along!) but, me being me, I always wanted to combine it with a challenge of some kind, so here it is, swimming the length of Loch Lomond without eating.

Looking back, depression was one of the best things that ever happened to me, it woke me up and reminded me that we need to make conscious choices in life. Ultimately, we are the only ones responsible.